I always had indoor/outdoor cats that could come and go as they pleased through the kitty door. Then one day my Peaches did not come home. I'd been away at a conference and by the time I got returned my husband said she'd been missing for a day and half. I walked miles placing posters on telephone poles. I made a FB page and posted a different picture of her for 75 days before giving up. I think a disappearance is worse than a death. Not know what happened to her still tortues me today. How do people whose children disappear ever have a normal life? I'm praying for you my friend. I totally understand your pain.